아메리칸 조크

A man was complaining to a friend. "I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out." 한 남자가 친구에게 하소연하고 있었다. "난 모든 걸 갖고 있었어, 돈, 아름다운 집, 고급 승용차, 아름다운 여인의 사랑, 그런데, 펑! 모든 게 날아갔어!" "무슨 일이 있었는데?" 하고 친구가 물었다. "아내에게 들켰어."

Lost in the woods, a hiker spends two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle, hits the bird with a big rock and eats it. A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the man for killing an endangered species. In court, the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice. “Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty,” says the judge. ..

A zookeeper is ordering new animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese.” That doesn’t look right, so he tries “two mongoose,” then “two mongooses.” Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one.” 동물원 사육사가 새 동물들을 주문하고 있었다. 그는 신청서를 작성하면서, "two mongeese."라고 타자했다. 그게 잘못된 것 같았다, 그래서 그는 "two mongoose” 그러고 나서 “two mongooses"라고 해 보았다. 그는 포기하고 이렇게 타자를 쳤다, "m..

When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?” 나의 세 살짜리 아이가 병원에서 컵에 오줌을 누라는 말을 듣고, 뜻밖에 긴장하였다. 아이가 떨리는 목소리로 물었다, "내가 그걸 마셔야 해요?"

A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several pieces of wood. First they tried maple. He smelled it and said, "That's maple." They then tried ebony; he again smelled it and named the wood correctly. He did this with every piece of wood t..

A cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after an examination the dentist says, "That tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes." The cowboy grabs the doc's arm and says. "No way. I hate needles. I'm not having any shot!" So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very si..

A panda walks into a bar and gobbles some beer nuts. Then he pulls out a gun, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. “Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. Google me!” Sure enough, panda: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.” 판다 한 마리가 바 안으로 들어와서 맥주 안주인 견과를 먹어치웠다. 그러더니 총을 꺼내어 공중에 발사하였다, 그러고는 떠나려 하였다. "이봐!" 하고 바..

A friend went to the kitchen window to check on her two-year-old son, who was playing in the yard with some older children in the neighborhood. She was horrified to see that they were feeding him an earthworm. She quickly opened the window and screamed at them, "Don't feed him worms! They'll make him sick!" They looked up at her puzzled and asked, "Was he sick yesterday?" 한 친구가 마당에서 동네 큰아이들과 놀고 ..

Having grown up in a small Alabama town, my friend James couldn’t wait to tell us all about life in California, where he was stationed. "The malls are massive, and the restaurants are great," he said. Then he grinned. "I even went to a topless bar." "Really?" said his mother, surprised. "What do they do if it starts to rain?" 앨라배마의 작은 동네에서 자라난 나의 친구 제임스는 그가 배치되었던 캘리포니아에서의 생활에 관한 모든 걸 우리들에게 말하지 않..

A Red Sox fan walks into a Boston pub and spots a guy wearing a New York Yankees cap. “Drinks for everyone here, bartender!” shouts the Red Sox fan. “Except for Mr. Yankees!” The Yankees fan smiles and says, “Thank you!” Infuriated, the Red Sox fan orders another round of drinks for everyone except Mr. Yankees, who, again, thanks the man. This goes on for a while, until Mr. Red Sox asks the bart..