아메리칸 조크

Two mates are having a chat over a beer. "Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?" one bloke asks his friend. "No way!" his mate replies. "Well," says the first bloke, "Do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?" "F**k no!" his mate replies. "Well," says the first bloke, "What the hell are you doing f**kin' around with my wife?" 두 친구가 맥주를 마시면서 잡담을 나누고 있었다. "너는 지독한 암내와 입 ..

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trashcan from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calcula..

Our first day at a resort my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked, “Can we drink beer on the beach?” “Sure,” she said, “but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first.” 리조트에서의 첫날, 나의 아내와 나는 바닷가에 가기로 하였다. 내가 마실 걸 가져가려고 우리 방으로 돌아왔을 때..

I was talking on the phone with my son, who was stationed in Hawaii with the Air Force. He was explaining how the troops were learning to scuba-dive. They used the buddy system, he said, and occasionally dived into shark-infested waters. Listening on the extension, my daughter asked, “What do you do when you see a shark?” Said my son, “Swim faster than my buddy.” 나는 공군으로 하와이에 주둔해 있는 나의 아들과 전화 통화..

Visiting his parents’ retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim’s father returned from his walk and called out, “I’m ready to leave.” Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to..

Some people just aren’t happy unless they have something to complain about. I stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the beach in California ? an idyllic spot, you would think. But while I was waiting to check out, I heard the manager ask another guest, “Did you enjoy your stay?” “Not really,” the man said grimly. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the manager apologized. “What was the problem?” “The surf ..

When I overheard one of my cashiers tell a customer, "We haven’t had it for a while, and I doubt we’ll be getting it soon," I quickly assured the customer that we would have whatever it was she wanted by next week. After she left, I read the cashier the riot act. "Never tell the customer that we’re out of anything. Tell them we’ll have it next week," I instructed her. "Now, what did she want?" "..

In good weather, my friend Mark always let his yellow-naped Amazon parrot, Nicky, sit on the balcony of his tenth-floor apartment. One morning, Nicky flew away, much to Mark’s dismay. He searched and called for the bird, with no luck. The next day when Mark returned from work, the phone rang. “Is this Mark?” The caller asked. “You’re going to think this is crazy, but there’s a bird outside on my..

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, ice cream, lemonade, all sorts of things. The grandpa is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy boy." The boy has another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say : "It's okay, William. Just a couple more minutes and we'..

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I w..