아메리칸 조크

My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. "I have a higher IQ, did better on my SATs, and make more money than you," she pointed out. "Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead," I said. She looked mystified. "How do you figure?" "I married better," I replied. 며칠 전 아내와 나는 서로의 생각을 말하고 있었다. "난 아이큐가 더 높고, 대학수능시험에서 더 잘했어, 그리고 당신보다 더 많은 돈을 벌어," 하고 아내가 지적하였다. "그..

Three men die in a car accident Christmas eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something Christmassy. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a Christmas card, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture , St...

My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. When he told her one had a horn and one didn't, she replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic." 아내와 나는 텍사스에 있을 동안 관광용 목장에 갔다. 말을 준비하는 카우보이가 나의 아내에게 서부식 안장을 원하는지 영국식 안장을 원하는지 물었..

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling. One day they became curious and decided to see what was going on. The madam answers the door and looks down at the boys, and asks what they want. They explain what they saw, and tell her that they are ..

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything went quite well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up Nuts”, and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, “Down Nuts”, and they all sat back down in their se..

Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia. One day, the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who were about to leave and seek their way in life. "You have led a very sheltered life and you are going into an extremely sinful world," she said. "I must warn you that men will take advantage of you. They'll do anything to get their way. They'll take you to restaurants, buy you d..

The following procedure describes the proper execution of the activity known as Rodeo Sex: First you undress your wife (or favorite female friend) and put her down on all fours. You then also undress and mount up from behind. Next, with your left hand, you hold on to her left boob. Your right hand is held waving in the air. At this time you lean forward and whisper in her ear, "you know, your si..

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus." "We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about ..

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first bl*wjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will." 어떤 젊은이가 바에 들어와 자리에 앉았다. "뭘 드릴까요?" 하고 바텐더가 물..

The bank robbers tied and gagged the employees in one room and the Manager in his office. On their way out they noticed the Manager was making desperate noises to catch their attention. Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosened the gag and heard the man's plead: "Please take the books too, I'm $5000 short!" 은행 강도들이 한 방에 있던 직원들과 자기 방에 있던 매니저를 묶고 재갈을 물렸다. 그들은 빠져나올 때, 매니저가 그들의 시선을 끌려고 필사적으로 ..