아메리칸 조크

An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor..

A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. "Does your dog bite?" asks the mailman. "No," replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman's leg. "You said he doesn’t bite!" yells the mailman. "That’s not my dog," replies the boy. 어느 우편집배원이 한 소년과 한 마리의 큰 개를 만났다. "네 개는 사람을 무냐?" 하고 우편집배원이 물었다. "아뇨," 하고 소년이 대답하였다. 그런데 그 개가 우편집배원의 다리를 물었다. "너는 그 개가 물지 않는다고 말했잖아!" 하고 우편집배원이 소리쳤다. "그 개는 제 개가 아니에요," 하고 소년이 대답하..

An officer while walking his beat sees a lady walking a skunk along the sidewalk. He says, "Hey lady, why do you have the skunk?" "This is my Social Distancing Support Animal!" 한 경찰관이 담당 구역을 걷다가 어떤 여자가 스컹크 한 마리를 보도를 따라 걷게 하고 있는 걸 보았다. 경찰관이 말했다, "보세요, 부인, 왜 스컹크를 데리고 다니죠?" "이건 내 사회적 거리 두기 지원 동물입니다!" [참고] * one's beat ☞ (경찰관의) 담당 구역 * 스컹크는 다른 사람이 옆에 다가오면 방귀를 뀌어 사람들이 피해 가기 때문에, 코로나 팬데믹으로 인한 사회적 거리 두..

On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near her another chick stops and says to her, "Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat?" "But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?" 한 여자가 머리에서 발까지 모피 옷으로 치장하고 거리를 어슬렁거리고 있었다. 그녀 가까이에 있던 다른 여자가 그녀에게 말했다, "이 코트를 입으려면 얼마나 많은 동물을 죽여야 하는지 당신 생각해 봤어요?" "하지만 당신은 내가 이걸 얻으려고 얼마나 많은 동물과 잠을 자야 ..

I went to the movie theater the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dachshund. It was a sad, funny kind of film. In the sad part, the dachshund cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dachshund laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man. "That's the most amazing thing I've ..

Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an opossum. Knowing that mother opossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little opossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what ..

A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull." 어느 농부가 자랑을 늘어놓고 있었다, "난 양을 350마리 갖고 있어." "양이 참 많군." 하고 다른 농부가 말했다. "그리고 난 닭을 500마리 갖고 있어," 하고 그 농부가 자랑했다. "닭이 참 ..

My husband seems to feel one should get their money's worth on vacation. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to frolic every minute or not. But once when I was sitting in a beach chair on the sand, he came out of the surf and said, "This is costing us $300 a day - and you sit there reading a book!" 나의 남편은 휴가 때는 본전을 뽑아야 한다고 생각하는 것 같았다. 나는 매 순간을 즐겁게 지내야 하는지 아닌지 확신이 서지 않았다. 그러나 한번은 내가 모래 위 해변 의자에 앉아 있을 때,..

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already." 어느 날 두 소년이 숲속을 걷고 있었는데 그때 그들은 토끼 똥을 보았다. 소년 중 한 명이 말했다, "저게 뭐야?" "저건 머리 좋게 하는 약이야," ..

A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing his wIfe loved antiques, he bought a beautiful old brass oil lamp for her. When she unwrapped it, a genie appeared. He thanked them and gave each of them one wish. The wife wished for an all expenses paid, first class, around the world cruise with her husband. Shazam! Instantly she was presented with ti..