아메리칸 조크

Employee: "I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want a raise." Boss: "Well, I can't give you a raise, but if you'll tell me who the other two men are, I'll fire them." 종업원: "저는 여기서 11년 동안 한 사람의 월급을 받고 세 사람의 일을 해 왔습니다. 이젠 임금을 올려주세요." 사장: "음, 내가 자네 임금을 올려 줄 수는 없어, 그러나 만약 그 두 사람이 누구인지 알려주면, 난 그 사람들을 해고할 거야."

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied, “Putting on my shoes!” 작은 동물 팀과 큰 동물 팀이 미식축..

A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows. Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark. He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators. "Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?" Modestly our hero says, "Actually I'm from England." The next days newspape..

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and..

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of ..

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said. "Of course," she answered, "Why do men always ask the same question?" "내가 당신이 사랑한 첫 번째 남자입니까?" 하고 그가 말했다. "물론이죠," 하고 그녀가 대답하였다, "왜 남자들은 항상 같은 질문을 하죠?"

Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "Fuck off! ..

A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a ..

A man's dog dies one day, and the man is very upset. His dog did everything for him. Washed the dishes. Bought things from the shop. The man was so upset, he decided to go and buy a new pet. Once at the pet store, he asked the manager, "Do you have any pets that will do anything for me? My dog has just passed away and I want something to replace him." The manager looks around. "We don't have muc..

Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it." 두 양치기가 지루한 하루 일과 끝에 양치기용 지팡이에 몸을 기대고 있었다, 그리고 첫 번째 양치기가 두 번째 양치기에게 물었다, "그래, ..