아메리칸 조크

At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25-year-old woman. Because her new husband is so old, the bride decides that on their wedding night they should have separate bedroom. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the wedding festivities, she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready..

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.” 어느 감독 교회 신부가 그들의 아기가 태어난 후, 성직복을 입은 채, 입원 중인 그의 아내를 방문하였다. 그는 포옹과 키스로 그녀에게 인사하였고, 떠날 때도 그녀에게 포옹과 키스를 하였다. 뒤에, 아내와 ..

A young woman had severe PMS, so she asked a friend to recommend a gynecologist. "I know a great one," the friend said, "but he's very expensive. He charges $500 for the first visit and $150 for each visit after that." The woman went to see the gynecologist. Trying to save money, she greeted the doctor with a loud, "I'm back!" He then proceeded to examine her. "Very good," he said when he was fi..

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him." 한 ..

A rich man was trying to find his daughter a birthday gift when he saw a poor man with a beautiful white horse. He told the man that he would give him $500 for the horse. The poor man replied, "I don't know mister, it don't look so good," and walked away. The next day the rich man came back and offered the poor man $1000 for the horse. The poor man said, "I don't know mister, it don't look so go..

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop - it read… Main ent..

103 passengers and only 40 meals got loaded on a India to US flight. The Airline had messed up, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant has an idea. About 30 minutes into the flight she nervously announces, "I don't know how this happened but we have 103 passengers and only 40 dinners." When the passengers muttering had died down she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough t..

So In the afternoon, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm handgun for home/personal protection. When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found o..

A State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold beer right now!" He gets his beer and dr..

A patient was a newly diagnosed diabetic who needed to be taught how to inject insulin. So the diabetes educator did the good old routine of taking an orange, drawing up insulin, then injecting it into the orange. He then made the patient repeat this practice routine a few times. The patient goes home and comes back in a week and his blood sugar is out of control. They ask him if he's been takin..