아메리칸 조크

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered, with his thumb over the meat. "Are you crazy?" yells the customer. "What's with your hand on my steak?" "Sorry," answers the waiter, "I don’t want it to fall on the floor again." 어느 웨이터가 손님이 주문한 스테이크를 가져오면서 자기 엄지손가락을 고기 위에 대고 왔다. "당신 미쳤어?" 하고 손님이 소리쳤다. "내 고기에 손을 대고 뭐 하는 짓이야?" "미안합니다," 하고 웨이터가 대답하였다, "저는 고기가 또 바닥에 떨어지지 않도록 하려고 그랬습니다."

A woman had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. "Wow," said her husband, "that was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" "Wrong number," replied the wife. 어떤 여자가 약 반 시간 동안 전화하고 있었다, 그러고는 전화를 끊었다. "와," 하고 그녀의 남편이 말했다, "그건 짧네. 당신은 보통 2시간은 통화하잖아. 무슨 일이야?" "잘못 걸린 전화야." 하고 아내가 대답하였다.

A Mexican, a black man, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a good-looking girl comes up to them and says, "whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the white guy says, "I love liver and cheese," and she says, "that's not good enough." The black man says, "I hate liver and cheese," and she says, "that's not creative enough." And then the Mexican says, "liver a..

When the very curvaceous female midshipman at the Naval Academy noticed one of the men she was inspecting during formation had an erection, she said to him, "And what do you call that trouser bulge, mister??" The sailor looked her straight in the eye as he replied, "It's a one-gun salute, ma'am." 해군 사관 학교에서 곡선미가 아주 좋은 여성 사관생도가 수병들이 대형을 이루고 있는 동안 그들을 검사하고 있었는데 그때 그녀는 그들 중 한 명이 발기하고 있는 걸 발견하고 그에게 ..

There was a man who woke up one morning with a red ring around his member. Astonished he panicked and hurried to the emergency room. The Doctor looked at it and gave the man some lotion to rub on it twice a day, if no results come back tomorrow. This went on for three days when a new nurse happened to be in the same ER. She asked if she could suggest something. The Dr. at his wit's end because h..

Grandma says, “That’s for 40 years of bad sex. Grandpa sits there muttering, then he rolls up his newspaper, goes over and slaps Grandma around the head. She says, “what’s that for?” He says, “That’s for knowing the difference.” 할머니가 말했다, "이런 멋없는 섹스를 40년 동안이나 했어." 할아버지는 앉아서 투덜거리고 있더니, 신문지를 돌돌 말아서 건너가 할머니의 머리를 탁 때렸다. 할머니가 말했다, "왜 그래?" 할아버지가 말했다, "그 차이를 알고 있기 때문이야." [참고] * 멋있는 섹스인지 멋없는 섹스인지 그 차이를 ..

A fellow got up one morning and decided he no longer was going to shave himself, he was instead going to the barber for his morning shave. The town barber also happened to be the local pastor in town. When the guy walked into the barber shop the barber/pastor was not there, he was out on a pastoral call but his wife Grace was in the shop. The man said to Grace, "I want a shave." Grace told him t..

Patient 1: “Why did you run away from the operation table?” Patient 2: “The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, things like that.” Patient 1: “So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?” Patient 2: “She was talking to the surgeon!” 환자 1: "당신은 왜 수술대에서 도망갔어요?" 환자 2: "간호사가 '걱정하지 마세요', '무서워하지 마세요', '강해지세요', 이건 간단한..

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled..

A tour bus stops in Runnymede, England and the guide says it was here that the Magna Carta was signed. "When did they sign it?" one passenger asks. "1215," the guide responds. "Dang! We missed it by 20 minutes." 관광버스 한 대가 영국 러니미드에 정차하였다, 그러고 가이드가 마그나카르타가 서명된 곳이 여기라고 말하였다. "서명한 게 언제였죠?" 하고 한 여행객이 물었다. "1215입니다," 하고 가이드가 대답하였다. "이런! 20분이 지나서 그걸 놓쳤군." [참고] * Magna Carta ☞ 마그나카르타, 대헌장(1215년 John 왕이 ..