아메리칸 조크

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communications with a small twin engine aircraft. A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees. The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone and yelled "Mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me..

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen: "What would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, Beef or Lamb?" I said, "Thank you, dear. I think I'll have chicken." She replied, "You're having soup, dumbass. I was talking to the cat!" 어젯밤 나는 소파에 앉아 TV를 보고 있었는데 그때 나는 부엌에서 들려오는 아내의 목소리를 들었다: "너 저녁 식사로 뭘 먹고 싶어, 내 사랑아? 닭고기, 소고기 아니면 양고기?" 내가 말했다, "고마..

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I..

Three guys were going on a hunting trip one day. They came to a high fence and saw a sign that said, "No Trespassing. All violators will be shot!" They ignored the sign's warning and climbed the fence anyway. After they were over the fence (it was dark now), they saw a car's headlights speeding toward them. They remembered the sign's warning and scrambled up separate trees. The driver, who was a..

A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners who was known for being a poor housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Have these dishes ever been washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." He felt a bit ..

The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good news Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Peters was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for th..

A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be. A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?" The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane!" 허리 굽은 한 노파가 비틀거리며 병원으로 들어섰다. 잠시 후, 그녀는 도로 나왔다, 그러나 기적적이었다, 그녀는 더할 나위 없이 곧게 서 있었다..

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He goes, "Geez...oooh....I....

Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and asked about the upcoming weather conditions. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the days ahead. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the ..

A guy asks a friend, "I have been married to the same woman for 20 years. Is it wrong to think she is sexy?" The friend says, "No, I think that's wonderful!" The guy says, "Every time my wife bends over and I see the curve of her ass, I just have this urge to have sex with her...right there and then! Well, the other day my wife dropped an orange and she bent over to pick it up. And that urged hi..