아메리칸 조크

During a course in human sexuality, the instructor was discussing various items in the Kinsey report. The class members gasped audibly when the instructor read out that a woman had several hundred orgasms in a single session. A male voice said, "Wow, who was she?" A female voice followed with, "Never mind that...who was *HE* ?!" 인간의 성에 관한 강의 중, 강사가 킨제이 보고서에 나오는 여러 가지 항목을 이야기하고 있었다. 강사가 어떤 여자는 한 ..

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. "In ten years," I said, "you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now." Carolyn shrugged. "In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway." 어느 날 나는 바깥에서 8살짜리 손녀 캐롤라인과 함께 자전거를 타면서, 좀 아쉬운 느낌이 들었다. "10년 있으면," 하고 내가 말했다, "넌 네 친구들과 같이..

After a shopping expedition, my friend Gina and I stopped in a local bar for a drink. We hadn’t been seated long when she leaned over and said that four young men at the next table were watching us. Since we’re both thirty-something, married with children, we found the situation flattering. We sat a little straighter and tried to look slimmer and younger. In a few minutes, one of the men got up ..

I had laryngitis and finally decided to go to the doctor. After the nurse called for me, she asked my age. "Forty-nine," I whispered. "Don’t worry," she whispered back. "I won’t tell anyone." 나는 후두염을 앓았고 그래서 결국 병원에 가기로 하였다. 간호사가 날 부른 후, 내 나이를 물었다. "마흔아홉입니다," 하고 나는 소곤거리듯 말했다. "걱정하지 마세요," 하고 그녀가 소곤거리듯 대답했다, "저는 아무에게도 말하지 않을게요." [참고] * 환자가 후두염에 걸려 큰 소리를 내지 못하고 소곤거리듯 말하자, 간호사는 환자가 나이를 밝히기 싫어서 소곤거리는 ..

My husband and I, married 13 years, were dressing for a party. I’d spent all day getting a haircut and permanent, then as we were leaving, we met in the hall and he said nothing. I complained that he had not even noticed my hair. "You used to pay attention to every little thing, and now you don’t notice anything! You take me for granted!" My husband stood there rubbing his face as he let me rant..

My 20th high-school class reunion was held at a hotel on the same night that another school’s tenth-year reunion was taking place. While my friends and I were in the rest room talking, some unfamiliar women entered. After their stares became uncomfortable, we turned toward them. One of the women said, "Don’t mind us. We just wanted to see how we’d look in another ten years." 나의 고등학교 졸업 20주년 동창회 ..

Having fought the battle of the bulge most of my life, I found the battle getting even harder as I approached middle age. One evening, after trying on slacks that were too tight, I said to my husband, "I’ll be so glad when we become grandparents. After all, who cares if grandmothers are fat?" His prompt reply: "Grandfathers." 내 인생의 대부분을 비만과 싸워왔는데, 내가 중년에 가까워지자 그 싸움이 한층 더 힘들어짐을 알게 되었다. 어느 날 저녁, 꼭..

My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old’s shoes. That’s when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband’s head. He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a concerned voice, "Daddy, you have a hole in your head. Does it hurt?" After a pause, I heard my husband’s murmured reply: "Not physically." 나의 남편이 나의 세 살짜리 아이의 신발 끈을 매어 주려고 몸을 굽혔다. 그때 나는 아들 벤이 나의 남편 머리를 응..

I was having trouble with the idea of turning thirty and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead. "Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband. "What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?" 나는 나이가 30 넘어가고 있다는 생각으로 고민하고 있었고 늙어가고 있다는 신호에 너무 예민해 있었다, 내가 내 앞머리에서 뚜렷한 회색 머리카락을 발견하였을 때, 나는 내 이마를 가리켰다. "당신 이거 봤어?" 하고 나는 화가 나서 ..

Rock concerts are a little different now than when I was younger. Recently, I went to a concert with some friends. As the band started to play a ballad, we instinctively raised our cigarette lighters, like all good rock fans I grew up with. But looking around me, I noticed that times had indeed changed. The mostly under-25 crowd was swaying to the upraised glow of their cell phones. 록 콘서트가 지금은 내..