아메리칸 조크

A blonde woman walks into a store and is immediately curious about a shiny object on sale. She asks the shop assistant, "What is that?" The assistant responds, "It's a thermos." The blonde then asks, "What does it do?" "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So the blonde buys one. The next day she brings the thermos to work with her. Her boss, also a blonde, asks, "What is the shiny obj..

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual. "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, happy birthday." Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out. One year later he enters the bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks the b..

A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses. The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, "Can your dog perform other tricks?" "But of course," the man answers, "he can even gratify a woman." Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above the bar. She undresses and full ..

An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, "Well, it looks plastic." Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, "But it feels like rubber." Curious, the attorney asked, "What do you have there?" The drunk replie..

Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There’s a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I’ll tell you what’s worse, this hand rail is low down." 두 취객이 철길을 따라 집으로 가고 있었다. 첫 번째 취객이 말했다, "여기엔 계단이 지독하게 많네." 두 번째 취객이 말했다, "그러고 말이야, 더 나쁜 건, 이 난간이 저 아래에 있어."

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a B..

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks. "Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered, "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?" The clerk then ..

A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy." The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. "Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy," again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She called, "Barbende..

2 Scientists walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they'll have. The first one says he'll have H2O. The second one said he'll have H2O too. The second one died. 두 명의 과학자가 바에 들어갔다, 바텐더가 그들에게 뭘 마시겠느냐고 물었다. 첫 번째 과학자는 H2O를 마시겠다고 말했다. 두 번째 과학자는 자기도 H2O를 마시겠다고 말했다. 두 번째 과학자는 죽었다. [참고] * 두 번째 과학자는 자기도 "H2O"를 마시겠다는 뜻으로 I'll have H2O too"라고 말하였으나 바텐더는 "I'll have H2O2"로 알아듣고 H₂O₂(과산화수소)를 주었고 이걸 마신 두 번째..

A male driver gets stopped by police, and is asked, "Have you been drinking?" The man replies, "Okay, yes, I have... how did you know officer? Was I swerving across the road, or speeding?" "No sir," replied the policeman, "Nothing else can explain that fat ugly woman sitting next to you." 어느 남성 운전자가 경찰에 의하여 정차를 당하고 질문을 받았다, "당신 술 마셨어요?" 그 남성이 대답하였다, "예, 마셨습니다.... 어떻게 아셨죠, 경찰관님? 제 차가 방향을 틀어 길을 건너..