아메리칸 조크

Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." "Did you copy hers?" she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!" 리틀 자니의 선생님이 말했다, "자니, '나의 개'란 제목으로 쓴 너의 작문은 네 누나의 작문과 똑같아." "너는 누나 걸 베꼈지?" 하고 선생님이 물었다. 자니가 대답하였다, "아니에요, 선생님, 개가 똑같은 개예요!"

When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child. 내가 어렸을 때 나는 섹스한다는 건 발가벗고 키스하는 것이라고 생각한 적이 있었다. 어느 날 샤워를 끝낸 후, 내 개가 화장실로 들어왔다, 그래서 나는 개의 머..

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician were out game hunting. The engineer spied a bear in the distance, so they got a little closer. "Let me take the first shot!" said the engineer, who missed the bear by three meters to the left. "You're incompetent! Let me try" insisted the physicist, who then proceeded to miss by three meters to the right. "Ooh, we got him!!" said the statistician. 어느 ..

A friend was ordering her meal at a drive-through when she noticed she could get a side dish gratis. “And I’ll take the free wiffie also,” she said. “What?” asked the clerk. “The free wiffie,” she said, pointing to the sign. “Ma’am, that’s ‘Free Wi-Fi.’?” 한 친구가 드라이브스루에서 식사를 주문하고 있었는데 그때 그녀는 간식을 공짜로 먹을 수 있다는 걸 발견했다. "그러고 저는 공짜 위피도 먹겠습니다," 하고 그녀가 말했다. "뭐라고요?" 하고 직원이 물었다. "공짜 위피요," 하고 그녀는 표지를 가리키면 ..

Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the..

My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. “He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out all day.” “Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?” “No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.” 나의 틴에이저 환자 어머니가 걱정하였다. "그 애가 열이 있는 게 틀림없어요," 하고 그녀가 말했다, "그 애가 종일 모터사이클을 가져나가지 않았어요." "하나 물어볼게요," 하고 내가 말했다, "서모미터(체온계)가 있습니까?" "아뇨," 하고 그녀가 말했다, "가와사키를 갖고 있습니다." [참고] * 의사가 thermomete..

My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didn’t salute. My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. “Thanks for coming back for me,” the airman said, jumping on the back of the scooter. “Airmen’s mess, sir.” 공군 장교인 내 친구가 스쿠터를 타고 있었다. 그때 그는 공군 이등병을 지나갔는데 그 이등병이 인사를 하지 않았다. 나의 친구는 스쿠터를 세워서 돌렸다. 그러고 그 이등병을 노려보았다. "저 때문에 돌아와 주셔서 감사합니다," 하고 ..

Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up ..

While on patrol, I arrested a burglar who’d injured himself running from a home. He told me he’d broken in and unhooked the phone before searching for valuables. But he’d panicked when he heard a woman’s voice. I entered the house and heard the same voice: “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try your call again.” 순찰 중, 나는 어느 집에서 다친 채 뛰쳐나오는 한 도둑을 체포하였다. 그는 나에게 안으로 침범하였는데 귀중품들을 찾기 전에..

A man was having marital problems. So he went to his shrink for advice. The shrink says, "when you get home, throw down your briefcase, run to her, embrace her, take off her clothes, and yours, and make mad passionate love to her." In two weeks the man was back in the shrinks office. The shrink asked, "Well, what did your wife think about your new approach ?" The man said, "She didn't say much a..