아메리칸 조크

My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patient’s room to draw blood. Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she remarked, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right?” “That’s true,” he agreed. “I haven’t seen a doctor in three days.” 덴버 재향군인병원 사혈 전문의사인 나의 아내가 채혈을 하기 위하여 환자의 방으로 들어갔다. 침실용 탁자 위에 사과 한 개가 놓여 있는 걸 보고, 그녀가 말했다, "하루에 사과 한 개씩 먹으면 의사를 멀리할 수 있다죠, 그렇죠?" "그건 사실입니다," 하고..

As the Broadway showgirls were dressing for a performance, one of them noticed her friend was no longer sporting a flashy engagement ring. "What happened, Lily?" she asked, pointing to the bare finger. "The wedding off ?" "Yeah," Lily admitted. "I saw him naked last week, and he looked so different without his wallet." 브로드웨이 쇼걸들이 공연을 위해 단장하고 있을 때, 그들 중 하나가 그녀의 친구가 현란한 약혼반지를 더는 끼고 있지 않은 걸 발견하였다. ..

A friend of mine works at a tattoo shop. A client walked in and got a sentence tattooed on his back. A few hours later, the customer called, demanding a refund. Client: You did my tattoo backward! Tattoo artist: It’s backward? Client: Yes! I’m looking at it in the mirror right now! 내 친구 한 명이 문신 가게에서 일하고 있었다. 어느 고객이 들어와서 자기 등에 한 문장을 문신했다. 몇 시간 뒤, 그 고객이 전화를 걸고, 환불을 요구하였다. 고객: 당신이 내 문신을 거꾸로 했어요! 문신..

A spiritual leader asked his pupils if they saw a $20 bill and a $100 bill on the floor which one they’d pick up. Nobody answers but finally one guy meekly blurts out, “$100.” The spiritual leader simply says, “I see.” After a small pause, one of his pupil asks him, “Which one would you have picked up, oh Wise One?” Looking straight into his eyes the leader answers, “I’d have picked up both." 어느..

After much nagging from his wife, Sam visited the audiologist. Yes, he would need hearing aids, and they ranged in price from $10 to $2,000. “I’ll try the $10 pair”, Sam said. The nurse placed the hearing aids in his ears and hung a wire around his neck. “Does this wire really have to be around my neck?” asked Sam. “Why, of course,” said the nurse. “You think those things in your ears do anythin..

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back. We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.” 내가 어느 부부의 집에서 그들의..

While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive single man. It was a relief, since my mother and I always laughed because the men to whom I was drawn were inevitably married. So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a living. He replied, “I’m a priest.” 내가 무료 급식소에서 자원봉사하고 있을 때, 나는 아주 매력적인 미혼 남자와 사이좋게 지냈다. 내가 마음이 끌린 남자들은 예상한 대로 결혼한 사람들이었기 때문..

A scientist tells a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.” “Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never remember the name.” 어느 과학자가 한 약사에게 말했다, "아세틸살리실산으로 조제한 알약을 좀 주세요." "아스피린 말입니까?" 하고 약사가 물었다. 그 과학자는 자기 이마를 쳤다. "바로 그거요!" 하고 그가 말했다, "난 그 이름을 통 외울 수 없어요." [참고] * prepare ☞ (약 등을) 조제하다 * acetylsalicy..

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.” “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer. “I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.” 말할 줄 아는 한 목양견(양을 지키는 개)이 양들을 모두 우리에 몰아넣은 후, 농장주에게 돌아가 보고했다, "모두 40마리 있는 걸 확인했습니다." "하지만 난 양이 36마리밖에 안 돼," 하고 농장주가 말했다. "알고 있습니다," 하고 목양견이 말했다, "하지만 제가 반올림한 겁니다." [참고] * account for ~ ☞ ~의 ..

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. I..