아메리칸 조크

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbour owes me ￡500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the ￡1,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it’s only ￡500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!" 한 남자가..

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this ? I’m a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!" 어느 날 밤늦게 한 노상강도가 방한용 얼굴 가리개를 쓰고 옷을 잘 차려입은 어떤 남자가 가는 길로 뛰어들어 그의 옆구리에 총을 들이대었다. "당신 가진 돈 내놔," 하고 그가 요구하였다. 화가 난, ..

"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..." "네 걸 프렌드인, 그 아주 귀여운 수학과 학생에게 무슨 일이 있었어?" "그녀는 이제 내 걸 프렌드가 아니야. 난 그녀가 나 몰래 바람피우는 걸 붙잡았어." "그녀가 너 몰래..

The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every pi..

A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks frustratedly. "Duh! Big ..

It can buy a House But not a Home. It can buy a Bed But not Sleep. It can buy a Clock But not Time. It can buy you a Book But not Knowledge. It can buy you a Position But not Respect. It can buy you Medicine But not Health. It can buy you Blood But not Life. So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Frien..

One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was an atheist so she didn't believe in God. Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?" Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?" "No." "Hear God?" "No." "Feel God?" "No." This went on for quite a while. "Well then God doesn't exist." Then J..

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the to..

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poison..

In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, crochet, tat and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram. However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker. 아주 먼 옛날,..