아메리칸 조크

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather, "are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on..

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned. There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music conc..

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.” “Why not?” “I too..

The old Scotsman is on his deathbed, surrounded by his family. "Is my daughter here?" "Yes, dad, I'm here." "Is my son here?" "Yes, I'm also here." "Are my grandkids here?" "Yes, we are all here next to you, the whole family." "Then why are the lights still on in the kitchen?" 늙은 스코틀랜드인이 가족들에게 둘러싸여 임종을 맞고 있었다. "내 딸 여기 있어?" "예, 아빠, 저 여기 있어요." "내 아들 여기 있어?" "예, 저도 여기 있어요." 내 손주들은 여기 있어?" "예, 우리 모두..

Men and women are so different. Women go out and say, "Before I go to bed with a man, I want to know who he is as a person." Guys are thinking, "Let's get them in bed before they find out who we are." 남자들과 여자들은 너무 다르다. 여자들이 밖에 나가서 하는 말은 이렇다, "난 남자와 침대에 들기 전에 그 남자가 어떤 사람인지 알고 싶어." 남자들의 생각은 이렇다, "우리가 누구인지 그들이 알기 전에 그들을 침대에 눕혀야 해."

Harry staggers exhausted into his house. "What’s wrong with you?" asks his wife. "I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus," gasps Harry. "You idiot," says his wife. "If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner." 해리가 지쳐서 비틀거리며 집으로 들어갔다. "당신, 무슨 일이야?" 그의 아내가 물었다. "내가 버스 뒤를 뛰어서 75페니를 아낀 것 같아," 하고 해리는 헐떡거리며 말했다. "당신 바보야," 하고 그의 아내가 말했다, "만약 당신이 택시 뒤를 뛰어 집으로 왔으면 1..

A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every tim..

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. "Alec!" yelled the teacher, "you've done nothing. Why?" "Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do!" 영어 선생님이 반 아이들에게 만약 그들이 100만 달러를 갖게 되면 뭘 할 것인지에 대해 작문하라고 시켰다. 알렉은 빈 종이를 제출하였다. "알렉!" 선생님이 소리쳤다, "넌 아무것도 안 했잖아. 왜?" "왜냐하면, 제가 100만 달러..

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homes where they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turn..

A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?" 한 남자가 변호사 사무실에 들어갔다. "상담료가 얼마나 됩니까?" 하고 그가 변호사에게 물었다. "질문 3개에 50달러를 받습니다." 하고 변호사가 대답하였다. "그거 너무 비싼 거 아닙니까?" 하고 그 남자가 물었다. "그래요," 하고 변호사가 대답하였다..