아메리칸 조크

An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." ..

An angry motorist went back to a garage where he'd purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier. "Listen," the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought that battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!" "Sorry," apologized the garage owner. "I didn't think your car would last longer than that." 화가 난 어느 운..

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained, "It took us awhile to find a new pilot." 활주로를 천천히 달리고 있던 제트 여객기가 갑자기 멈추고 돌아서 게이트로 되돌아갔다. 한 시간 동안을 기다린 후, 비행기..

It was a really hot day at the office. There were about 20 people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on. All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelt. One man said, "Uh oh, someone's deodorant isn't working." A man in the corner replied, "It can't be me. I'm not wearing any..

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he rem..

A Businessman taking a seminar on efficiency completed a case study of his wife's routine for fixing breakfast, and presented the results to the class. "After a few days of observation, I quickly determined the practices that were robbing her of precious time and energy," the man reported. "taking note of how many trips she made to the kitchen to the dining room carrying just one item, I suggest..

A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?” The trainer replied; “Use the ATM outside the gym!!!” 한 남자가 체육관에서 트레이너에게 질문했다: "제가 저 아름다운 아가씨에게 깊은 인상을 받고 싶은데, 제가 무슨 기계를 사용하면 될까요?" 트레이너가 대답했다: "체육관 바깥쪽에 있는 ATM을 사용하세요!" [참고] * ATM ☞ "Automaic Teller Machine"의 약자, 현금 자동 입출기 * ATM을 사용하란 말은 현금 자동 입출기에서 돈을 찾아 그 돈으로 환심을 사면 된다는 조크

There were these two not so bright guys who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car they decided to buy a camel. The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left. They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink. So finally the first guy says: "I have..

Sally was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad. Liz said, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay, but you look so sad. Why?" Sally replied, "Because I just can't get a man." Liz said, "Well, you sure won't find one in the..

A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his hand. The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender asks the man, "What is wrong with your turtle?" "Nothing," the man responds, "This turtle is very fast. Take your dog and let him stand at the end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end o..