아메리칸 조크

A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his hand. The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender asks the man, "What is wrong with your turtle?" "Nothing," the man responds, "This turtle is very fast. Take your dog and let him stand at the end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end o..

We got lucky when we heard the old Piedmont Hotel in Atlanta was getting a face-lift and its beautiful maple doors became available for sale as salvage items. We bought several and had them installed in our 19th-century home. Showing a friend around the house, I pointed out, "You know, these doors are from the Piedmont Hotel." He raised an eyebrow. "Most people just take the towels." 우리는 애틀랜타에 있..

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected, a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey. 어떤 자동차가 거리에서 교통사고에 휘말렸다. 예상대로 많은 군중이 모여들었다. 이걸 취재하고 싶었던 어느 신문..

A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary shool. He talked to the children about his tribe and its traditions, then he shared with them this fun fact: "There are no swear words in the Cherokee language." One boy raised his hand, "But what if you're hammering a nail and accidentally smash your thumb?" "That," the man answered, "is when we use your language." 체로키족 어느 인디언이 한 초등학교에 특별 손..

A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, "Can I have a dozen condoms, miss?" "Don't Miss me, mister." "Well then, you better make it 13." 한 남자가 얌전한 여자가 운영하는 약국으로 들어갔다. 그가 물었다, "콘돔 한 다스를 주시겠어요, 아가씨?" "절 아가씨라고 부르지 마세요, 선생님," "음, 그럼, 13개로 해 주세요." [참고] * "Don't Miss me." ☞ 보통은 "절 빼지 마세요."란 뜻으로 사용되지만, 위의 글에서는 고객이 주인을 miss(아가씨)라고 불렀기 때문에 주인이 "난 miss가 아닙니다"라는 뜻으로 한 말인데 고객은 "절 ..

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this." Far from being angry, the bartender..

2 girls meet. "Me & my husband are no longer together..." "Why?" "Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?" "No, of course I couldn't!" "Well he couldn't either!" 두 여자가 만났다. "나와 나의 남편은 더는 함께 살 수 없어..." "왜?" "음, 너는 대마초 피우고, 술 마시고, 직업도 없고, 항상 욕만 하는 사람과 같이 살 수 있어?" "아냐. 물론 같이 살 수 없지!" "글쎄 남편도 그럴 수 없었어!" [참고] * 대마초 피우고, 술 마시고, 직업 없고, 항상 욕만 하는 사람은 남편이 ..

Two guys staggered into the bar, dragging their extremely pissed-off buddy with them. When they reached the bar, they let him go and he collapsed in a drunken heap on the floor. "I'll have two beers," one of them slurred to the bartender. "What about him?" asked the barkeep, pointing to the unconscious guy on the floor. "No more for him -- he's driving," the guy answered. 두 남자가 비틀거리며 바 안으로 들어왔는데..

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm. "Fancy meeting my wife here," he says to the c..

How did the accident happen?" asked the doctor. "Well," explained the patient, "I was making love to my girlfriend on the living room rug when, all of a sudden, the chandelier came crashing down on us." "Fortunately, you've only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks," the doctor said. "You're a very lucky man." "You said it, doc," the man replied. "A minute sooner and it would have f..