아메리칸 조크

A man received the following text from his neighbor: I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again. Th..

The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers. "I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as though he were riding a bicycle," he explained. "Now begin!" After a few minutes, one of the men stopped. "Why did you stop. Smith?" demanded the officer. "If you please, sir," said Smith, "I'm freewheeling for a while." 체력단련 교관이 한 소대의 병사들을 훈련시키고 있었다..

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again..

Police found a large number of dead crows on the A251 just outside Ashford yesterday morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Bird Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and it's been confirmed the problem was not Bird Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts, however, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared ..

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a well-endowed, beautiful, young, blonde woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled passed. The woman looked at the doctor, smiled seductively, and said in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How are you doing?" before wiggling her backside and walking off. "Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife. "Just a woman I met professionally," repl..

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor. The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her." 남자가 자기 아내를 의사에게 데려왔다. 의사가 말했다, "음, 알츠하이머병이거나 에이즈거나 둘 중 ..

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?" "Tammie gave it to me," Bubba replied. "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a New truck?" "Well, Jimmy Jones, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle..

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember." 나의 세 살짜리 아들이 자기 할머니로부터 받은 생일 선물을 풀었을 때, 그는 물총을 발견하였..

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This," he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it." At which a smart-aleck stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into th..

A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialled a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: Boy : Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? Woman : (at the other end of the phone line) I already have someone to cut my lawn. Boy : Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now. Wom..