아메리칸 조크

One day, the maid asks for a raise. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?' Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.' Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me? Maria: 'Your husband said so.' Wife: 'Oh.' Maria: 'The second reason is t..

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow, so naturally he's curious about the sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up to his co-worker and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings.” "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring,” he replies sheepishly. "Well, I'm curious,” ..

At a cattle sale, two Texas ranchers were talking. "Ya know son," said the first, "I can get in my pickup and drive all day and still not reach the end of my ranch." The second rancher thought for a bit, then replied, "Yep, I had a truck like that once". 가축 판매장에서, 두 텍사스 목장주가 이야기하고 있었다. "있잖아요," 하고 첫 번째가 말했다, "난 내 픽업을 타고 온종일 운전해도 내 목장 끝에 도달할 수 없어요." 두 번째 목장주가 잠시 생각하고는 대답하였다, "예, 나도 한때 그런 트럭을 갖고 있었..

Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Aaron, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thoug..

In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: The first worm in alcohol --- dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke --- dead. The third worm ..

Two guys are walking in a rough neighborhood when someone jumps out from behind a car, pulls out a pistol, and demands, "Give me your wallets, NOW!" The guys, pretty much expecting this, sigh and pull out their wallets. One guy opens his wallet and shows the thief that he had no cash and no credit cards. The other guy opens his and grabs a bill, handing it to his friend. "Oh, hey, here's the $20..

Three guys find themselves in the same cell in a Soviet prison. They ask each other what their crimes were. The first guy says that he used to report 15 minutes late to work everyday. He was charged with laziness and thrown in jail. The second guy says that he used to report 15 minutes early to work everyday. He was accused of being a spy and thrown in jail. They look at the third guy who says, ..

A hobo had been robbed and beaten into unconsciousness. When he woke up he checked about his person for damages and missing items, and found that all injuries were superficial but he had lost all his belongings. He stormed into the nearest police station. "I want to report a robbery! all my 53 belongings have been stolen from me!" "How can you be so sure about the number of the stolen items?" th..

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the ..

The Matchmaker goes to see Mr Cohen, a confirmed bachelor for many years. "Mr Cohen, don't leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!" says the Matchmaker. "Don't bother," replies Mr Cohen, "I've two sisters at home, who look after all my needs." "That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fi..