아메리칸 조크

A man standing at a bus stop turned to the stranger beside him and said, "Just look at that skinny young thing with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?" The bystander replied, "It's a girl. She's my daughter." The embarassed man said, "Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her father." The bystander glared at him and said, "I'm not... I'm her mother." 버스 정류소에 서 있던 ..

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!" 알피는 누나가 노래를 연습하는 걸 듣고 있었다. "누나," 그가 말했다, "난 누나가 크리스마스 캐럴을 불렀으면 좋겠어," "너 친절하구나, 알피," 그녀가 대답하였다, "그런데 왜?" 알피가 대답하였다, "왜냐하면 그렇게 하면 난 누나 목소리를 1년에 한 번만 듣게 되거든!"

Two hookers were standing on a street corner ready for a night of business. “It’s gonna be a good night tonight, I can tell,” says one of the girls. “How can you tell?” says the other. “I can smell cock in the air,” replies the first hooker. “Sorry”, her friend replied, ” I just burped!” 두 창녀가 밤일을 하기 위하여 길모퉁이에 서 있었다. "오늘 밤은 장사가 잘될 거야," 하고 한 여자가 말했다. "어떻게 알 수 있어?" 하고 다른 여자가 말했다. "공기에서 남자 거시기 냄새가 ..

A young man proposes marriage to his sweetheart. The girl replies, "If I marry you, will you promise to give up smoking?" "Yes, I will," came the reply. "And drinking?" "I will give up drinking as well." "And going to the club with your cronies?" "Yes, I will." "And what else will you give up for my sake?" she asked finally. "I have already given up the idea of marrying you." 어느 젊은 남자가 자기 애인에게 청..

In order to pay his medical school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher's assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat. One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up suddenly, looked him in the eye, and screamed, "God save me! It's the butcher!" 어느 의과대학생이 수업료를 내기 위하여, 여름 동안 두 ..

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick told the farmer, "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road, an..

A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..." 노년기의 한 스코틀랜드인이 자기 아들이 첫 데이트에서 돌아오기를 기다리고 있었다. 드디어, 아들이 자정을..

A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!" 어떤 의사가 처방전을 작성할 펜을 꺼내려고 가운 주머니에 손을 넣었다, 그러고는 직장 체온계를 꺼냈다. "오, 이런," 하고 그가 소리쳤다, "내 펜은 누군가의 항문 속에 있겠군!" [참고] * smock ☞ 겉옷, (옷이 더러워지지 않도록 위에 걸치는) 작업복

Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on a man's peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, he was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped. One warm April day, the man was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give his dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor watched the..

A man got a phone call from his wife at work one day and she asked him to stop at the store and pick up some groceries. Reminding her that this was his golf league night he said he would be happy to go to the store after playing his round of golf. After playing golf, he stopped at the store and picked up 2 bags full of groceries. He then proceeded to walk out of the grocery store to his Rolls Ro..