아메리칸 조크

A penguin is having car trouble, so he stops by a mechanic's shop for some repairs. He tells him he will need about an hour to find out what's wrong. The penguin walks downtown and it's a hot day, so he stops to get some ice cream. He doesn't have any arms to eat the ice cream with, so he just sticks his beak right into it. The penguin returns to the shop and the mechanic says, "It looks like yo..

A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple of days before the cruise, the travel agent phones and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy agrees and goes to the druggist to buy three Dramamine for his sea sickness problem, and three condoms. Next day, the agent calls back and says he now ..

I've finally found a way to get money out of my husband," a woman told her friend. "We were arguing last night, and I told him I was going home to Mother. He gave me the fare." 난 드디어 남편한테서 돈을 받아내는 방법을 알아냈어," 하고 어떤 여자가 그녀의 친구에게 말했다. "지난밤에 우리가 다퉜어, 그리고 난 남편에게 친정 엄마에게 가겠다고 말했어. 남편은 나에게 여비를 주더라고."

Mrs. Perkins was talking to her hair stylist. "It's silly," she said, "but my daughter has some sort of crazy idea about losing her hair." "What do you mean?" the beautician asked. "Well, I overheard her on the phone the other day telling her best friend that she hoped she'd be bald soon." 퍼킨스 부인이 그녀의 미용사에게 이야기하고 있었다. "바보 같은 소리지만, 내 딸이 자기 머리카락을 밀어버릴 괴상한 생각을 하고 있어요." 하고 그녀가 말했다. "무슨 말입니까" 하고 미용사가..

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!" 어떤 남자가 그저께 밤 자기 집에 침입한 도둑을 면담하고 싶어 경찰서로 갔다. 안내 경찰관이 말했다. "법정에서 만나야 합니다." 그 남자가 말했다. "아니! 아..

Phillip fancied himself quite a ladies man, so when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island with six women, he couldn't believe his good fortune. They quickly agreed that each woman would have one night a week with the only man. Phillip threw himself into the arrangement with gusto, working even on his day off, but as the weeks stretched into months,..

A friend was ordering her meal at a drive-through when she noticed she could get a side dish gratis. "And I'll take the free wiffie also," she said. "What?" asked the clerk. "The free wiffie," she said, pointing to the sign. "Ma'am, that's 'Free Wi-Fi.'" 한 친구가 드라이브스루에서 자기의 식사를 주문하고 있었는데 그녀는 무료로 주는 위피를 먹을 수 있다는 걸 알았다. "그리고 저도 그 무료 위피를 먹겠습니다," 하고 그녀가 대답하였다. "뭘요?" 하고 직원이 물었다. "무료 위피요,"라고 말하면서 그 표지를..

A wealthy Arab sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out. Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. He willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent th..

This guy and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton for their honeymoon night. At the front desk, they check in and the receptionist gives the groom the key to the bridal suite. Just then he says to the groom, "Sir, It is now 6 o' clock, dinner will be served from 7:30 onwards." The groom looks at him and says, "Thank you, but we won't be needing any" and off he and his bride go to the room. The who..

The doctor entered the waiting room. "I have some good news for you, Mrs. Douglas." "Pardon me," she interrupted, "but it's Miss." The doctor said, "I have some bad news for you, Miss Douglas." 의사가 대기실로 들어왔다. "당신에게 좋은 뉴스가 있습니다, 더글러스 부인" "실례지만," 하고 그녀가 말을 막았다, "저는 미스입니다." 의사가 말했다, "당신에게 나쁜 뉴스가 있습니다, 미스 더글러스." [참고] * 의사가 여자에게 임신하였다고 알려주면, 부인에겐 좋은 뉴스가 되지만, 같은 뉴스라도 미혼 여성에겐 나쁜 뉴스가 된다는 조크