아메리칸 조크

A college student could not take his seminar final exam because of a funeral. "No problem," the teacher told him. "Make it up the following week." That week came, and again he couldn't take the test due to another funeral. "You'll have to take the test early next week," the professor insisted. "I can't keep postponing it." "I'll take the test next week if no one dies," the undergrad replied. By ..

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started. 나는 아내를 식당으로 데려갔다. 웨이터가 무슨 이유인지 내 주문을 먼저 받았다. "난 엉덩이 스테이크, 익히지 않은 걸 하겠습니다." 웨이터가 말했다, "광우병에 대한 걱정은 없으십니까?" "없어요, 아내는 자기 걸 주문할 겁니다." 그러고 그때 싸움이 시작되었다. [참고] * ..

The first-time flier was very nervous as he buckled his seat belt before takeoff. He turned to the woman in the next seat and asked, "About how often do jetliners like this crash?" She thought a moment and replied, "Usually, just once." 처음으로 비행기를 탄 남자는 이륙하기 전 안전벨트를 매면서 매우 초조해했다. 그는 옆자리에 앉은 여자를 돌아보고 물었다, "이와 같은 제트 여객기는 대략 얼마나 자주 추락하나요?" 그녀는 잠시 생각하였다, 그러고 대답하였다, "보통, 단 한 번입니다."

My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home-improvement store. Madison got tired of walking, so my husband let her ride on his shoulders. As he walked, Madison began pulling his hair. Although he asked her to stop several times, she kept on. Getting annoyed, he scolded, "Madison! Stop that!" "But, Daddy," she replied, "I'm just trying to get my gum back." 나의 남편과 나는 우리들의 2살짜리 딸을 주..

Working as a secretary in an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day, security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened and he began to walk ..

The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice. The Englishman says to the Scotsman, "You see how clever we are? You'll never beat that!" The Scotsman says to the Englishman, "Watch this, a Scotsman is always cleverer than an Englishman." He says to the baker, "Give me a cookie, I can show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him the cookie whic..

A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house. The host deftly carved the turkey and said, "I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?" The surgeon replied, "Anybody can take it apart. Let's see you put it back together again." 어느 외과 의사가 친구 집 추수감사절 저녁 식사에 초대되었다. 주인은 칠면조를 능숙하게 잘랐다, 그리고 말했다, "나는 꽤 유능한 외과 의사가 될 수 있었을 거야, 안 그래?" 외과 의사가 대답하였다, "누구든지 그걸 잘라 낼 수 있어. 네가 그걸 다시 봉합하..

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home, collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?" Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!" 나의 어머니는 주말 내내 업무 회의에 참가하고 있었다. 쉬는 시간..

A family of skunks went for their morning walk. They came to a fork in the road. The daddy skunk said, "My instinct tells me to take the left fork." The momma skunk said, "My instinct tells me to take the right fork." The baby skunk pondered a moment and said, "My end stinks too but I still don't know which road to take!" 스컹크 가족이 아침 산책을 하러 나갔다. 그들은 갈림길에 왔다. 아빠 스컹크가 말했다, "내 직감으로는 왼쪽 갈림길로 가야 해." 엄..

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine." And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm..