아메리칸 조크

Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!" 엄마가 어린 딸에게 아기들이 어떻게 생기는지에 대하여 모든 걸 말해주었다. 리틀 애니는 ..

Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, "I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..." "Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault." 산부인과에 입원한 여자가 심한 통증으로, 신음하고 있었다. 남자가 그녀의 등을 쓰다듬었다, "정말 미안해 여보, 당신이 이걸 다 견뎌내야 한다니." "괴로워하지 말아요, 스티브. 이건 당신 잘못이 아니에요."

McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It's to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I'm meeting me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" 맥낼리가 처음으로 비행기를 탔는데, 로키산맥 위를 나르고 있었다. 스튜어디스가 그에게 껌 하나를 건넸다. "이건 높은 고..

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road. As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest ..

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Damn, I'm on the wrong bus!" 어느 날 밤늦게 한 취객이 버스에 올라 통로를 비틀거리며, 어느 나이 든 여자 옆자리에 앉았다. 그녀는 그 남자를 위아래로 훑어보고 말했다, "당신에게 해 줄 말이 있어요. 당신은 바로 지옥으로 가고 있어요!" 그 남자는..

Three men are discussing their previous night's lovemaking. The Italian says, "My wife, I rubbed her all over with fine olive oil, then we make wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes." The Frenchman says, "I smooth sweet butter on my wife's body, then we made passionate love. She screamed for half an hour." The Jew says, "I covered my wife's body with schmaltz. We made love and she scream..

A woman from France is touring in the United States when she develops a serious case of the crabs. She decides to go to a pharmacy and get some medicine for her condition. Her English is not very good and she tells the pharmacist, "I vould like some medicine that geet reed of bugs in de bush." The pharmacist misunderstood her and told her to go over to section with lawn care products and select ..

A blonde was sitting on her porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand. "What are you selling, young man?" she asked. "I'm not selling anything," the young man said. "I'm a Census Taker." "A what ?" the blonde asked. "A Census Taker. We are trying to find out how many people live in the United States." "Well," she answered. "You're wasting your time with me, I have no id..

A kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop, "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says, "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!" 한 아이가 버스 정류장에서 어떤 임신한 여자에게, "뭘 기다리고 계세요?" 여자가 말했다, "버스." 그 아이는 자기 친구를 돌아보고 말했다, "와우! 난 이 여자가 변신 로봇과 섹스한 걸 100% 확신해!" [참고] * "What are you expecting?" ☞ 일반적으로는 "뭘 기다리고 있나요?"라는 뜻이지만, 임신한 여자에게 물을 때는 "아들, 딸 어느 쪽을 ..

A woman phoned her husband at work. Her husband said, "I’m sorry dear, but I’m up to my neck in work today." The wife responded, "But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, dear." The husband then replied, "Okay, darling, but as I’ve got very little time now, just give me the good news." "Well," said the wife, "the car airbag works." 한 여자가 직장에 있는 남편에게 전화를 걸었다. 그녀의 남편이 말했다, "미안하지만 여보,..