아메리칸 조크

I was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, "Paper or plastic?" "It doesn't matter," she replied, ... "I'm bisacksual." 나는 우리 동네 슈퍼마켓에서 쇼핑하고 있었다. 내가 계산대에 도착하였을 때, 내 앞에는 아름다운 젊은 블론드가 있었다. 그녀가 그녀의 식료품을 계산대에 놓았을 때, 포장하는 직원이 그녀에게 물었다, "종이봉지에 넣을까요? 비닐봉..

An redneck bought a cell phone and was showing it off in a bar when the phone rang. He answered it only to hear his wife's voice on the other end. "Wow !" he remarked, "how did you know I was here ?" 어떤 백인 노동자가 휴대폰을 사서 바에서 그걸 자랑하고 있었는데 그때 휴대폰이 울렸다. 그가 받아보니 자기 아내의 목소리가 들리었다. "와!" 하고 그가 말했다, "당신, 내가 여기 있는 걸 어떻게 알았어?"

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied, "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys." 아기가 세례를 받은 후, 아기의 네 살 난 오빠가 자동차 뒷좌석에서 걷잡을 수 없이 울고 있었다. "무슨 일이야, 자니?" 하고 걱정이 된 아이의 엄마가 물었다. 자니가 대답하..

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." 2학년 아이가 학교에서 집으로 돌아와서 엄마에게 말했다, "엄마, 있잖아, 우리 오늘 babies(아기들)를 만드는 방법을 배웠어." 엄마는 적..

A blond went into a department store and asked an assistant, "Do you sell potato clocks ?" "Potato clocks, Miss ? I'm not sure what you mean," replied the assistant. "Well," came the explanation, "I'm always late for work, and my boss said I could get there before nine if I got a potato clock." 어떤 블론드가 백화점에 가서 점원에게 물었다, "감자 시계 팝니까?" "감자 시계라고요, 아가씨? 무슨 말인지 모르겠군요," 하고 그 점원이 대답하였다. "그건," 하고 설명이 나왔다..

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother in with us." 갓 결혼한 아내가 남편이 직장에서 ..

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay..

There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you ain't half getting fat." To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's bec..

A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No,” he answered. “Bad knees.” 한 은퇴 노인이 비틀거리며 아이스크림 가게로 몹시 조심스럽게 들어갔다, 그러고는 조심스럽게 천천히 카운터 의자로 올라갔다. 노인은 잠시 헐떡거렸다, 그러고 나서 초콜릿 선데이를 주문하였다. "견과류 으깬 걸 얹을까요?" 하고 점원이 물었다. "아니오," 하고 노인이 대답했다, "무릎이..

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and thi..