아메리칸 조크

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case wil..

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less ..

A five year old boy asked his slightly older brother what a penis was. His brother said that he didn't know but he would ask his dad. That evening the elder boy asked his dad. His dad unzipped and exposed himself to his son, then with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis." The next day the elder boy met his younger br..

* In class * Teacher: "Jay, why are you down today?" Jay: "Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad is at the police station." Teacher: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?" Jay: "Yes, please." After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, "Why is Jay's father at the police station and the mother at the hospital?" Classmate: "Because his fathe..

My wife asked me what reincarnation was. I explained to her that reincarnation was when you die you come back to this world as a different creature. She said "I think I'd like to come back as a cow". I replied "you're obviously not listening. I said you have to come back as a different creature". 나의 아내는 나에게 환생이 뭐냐고 물었다. 나는 아내에게 환생은 당신이 죽었을 때 다른 동물로 이 세상에 되돌아오는 걸 말한다고 설명하였다. 아내가 말했다, "난 암소로 되돌아오고..

Broder walks into a bar with a dog on a leash. "Bartender," he says, "I'll have a scotch on the rocks, and a whiskey sour for my dog." "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow dogs in here." "Just a minute," the dog says. "I'm not used to being treated this way. Maybe you've never seen a talking dog." "Don't give me that talking dog stuff mister," the bartender tells Broder, "You're not the first ven..

Joe and Sue were listening to the Minneapolis weather report at breakfast. The announcer said, "There will be three to five inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street." Joe got up from the breakfast table and went out to move their car. Two days later they heard another radio report, "There will be two to four inch..

In a Detroit church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs" who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one ..

I went to the liquor store this afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Whiskey, before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home. 오늘 오후 나는 자전거를 타고 주류 판매점에 가서,..

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superio..