아메리칸 조크

I couldn't help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night. One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look tired." His buddy says, "Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day, I just don't know what to do." Sitting a couple of stools down, two men overheard the conversation. One looked over at the two y..

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd y..

A guy wants to become a magician so he goes out and buys a magician book. Later he gathers his family around the living room for his first trick. Reading his new book he reaches into a bag and pulls out a hammer and to the amazement of his family hits himself in the head with it. He's unconscious and spends a month in the hospital. Suddenly a nurse notices his eye lids flicker. She calls the fam..

Jim, a collections specialist, was on his first day of work for his new employer and was assigned to collect a past due balance from a company that was a customer of his employer. He had been provided with a standard script that he was to use where he was to ask for "Accounts Payable" when calling the customer so that he could talk with someone about the payment of the past due bill. He made the..

While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?’ Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds. Remember how close you were when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is." A..

After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside!" 어떤 여자의 자동차가 시멘트로 포장된 그녀의 차고 진입 도로에 엔진 오일을 흘린 후, 그녀는 오일을 빨아들이려고 고양이 용변 ..

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is ..

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to e..

While going out for a ride with his young daughter, a doctor notices the little girl playing with his stethoscope. He becomes excited, thinking "My daughter is going to follow in my footsteps!" The girl speaks into the stethoscope like a microphone, "Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order please?" 어느 의사가 어린 딸과 함께 외출하여 자동차를 몰고 있는 동안, 어린 딸이 자기의 청진기를 가지고 놀고 있는 걸 보았다. "내 딸이 내 뒤를 따라가려 하는구나!"라고..

A husband and wife are shopping when the wife says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? Do you think she would like something electric?" "Sure," the husband says, "how about a chair?" 어느 남편과 아내가 쇼핑하고 있었는데 그때 아내가 말했다, "여보, 내일이 내 어머니 생일이야. 어머니에게 뭘 사 드릴까? 당신은 어머니가 무슨 전기제품을 좋아할 거로 생각해? "그래," 남편이 말했다, "전기의자는 어때?"