아메리칸 조크

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend..

There was a drive on throughout the community to round up all stray dogs and all those with no license. A police officer pulls Leroy over - walks up beside Leroy's ole beat up pickup truck and Leroy says, "What is the problem officer?" Police officer looks at Leroy and points to Ole Blue {Leroy's hunting dog} which happens to be sitting in the passenger seat. Officer says, "Does that dog have a ..

Mrs. Applebaum was surprised when she saw her son Burt at home. "Why are you home from school so early?" asked Mrs. Applebaum. "I was the only one who could answer a question," replied Burt. "Oh, really?" said Mrs. Applebaum proudly. "What was the question?" "Who threw the eraser at the principal?" 애플바움 부인은 자기 아들 버트가 집에 있는 것을 보고 놀랐다. "너 어찌 그렇게 일찍 학교에서 집으로 돌아왔니?" 하고 애플바움 부인이 물었다. "내가 질문에 답한 유일한 사..

Two natural gas company service personnel, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of an alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. When they finished, the senior supervisor, proud of his p..

Miranda likes to sing, and whenever she begins, her husband heads outside. Hurt, she asked him, "Don't you like my singing?" "Of course, dear," he replied. "I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." 미란다는 노래 부르기를 좋아했다, 그러고 그녀가 노래를 시작할 때마다, 그녀의 남편은 밖으로 나갔다. 기분이 상한, 그녀가 그에게 물었다, "당신은 내가 노래 부르는 걸 좋아하지 않아?" "물론 좋아하지, 여보," 하고 그가 대답하였다, "난 그냥 이웃 사람들이 내가 당신을 때리고 있지 않다는 걸 확실하게 알도록..

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it." About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand. 어느 사무용품 수리 기술자가 사용자로부터 전화..

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers that panhandle in different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects $2-3 every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills every day, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. One day, Carlos asked Jose: “I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full..

A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.” Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination. The woman looked up to heaven..

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says,..

A liberal paradise would be a place where everybody has Guaranteed employment, free comprehensive healthcare, Free education, free food, free housing, free clothing, free Utilities, and only law enforcement has guns." "And believe it or not, such a place does indeed exist." "It's called prison." 자유의 낙원은 누구나 직장이 보장되어 있고, 무료 종합 의료, 무상 교육, 무료 식사, 무료 주택, 무료 의류, 무료 공공시설 등이 제공되는 곳일 겁입니다. 그러고 법률 집행자만이 ..