아메리칸 조크

After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?" "Yes, we have, your honor," The foreman responded. "Would you please pass it to me," The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him. After the judge reads the ..

A tourist stopped a local in a town he was visiting and asked; "What is the quickest way to the lake? The local thought for a while. "Are you walking or driving?" he asked the tourist. "I'm driving." "That is the quickest way." the local said. 한 여행객이 그가 방문하고 있는 어느 동네에서 한 현지 주민을 붙들고 물었다, "호수로 가는 가장 빠른 방법은 무엇입니까?" 그 주민은 잠시 생각하였다. "걸어가실 겁니까 아니면 타고 가실 겁니까?" 하고 그가 그 여행객에게 물었다. "타고 갑니다." "그게 제일 빠른 방법입..

I have always questioned if Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton were really preachers since they have no church. When I heard Al Sharpton was guest preacher at a black Las Vegas Church, I decided to check him out in person and see what it was all about. I sat down and Sharpton came up to me - I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the Church. He laid his hands on my hand..

Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven. Before they’re allowed to enter the gates, they’re greeted by Saint Peter. He tells them there are rules before he allows them into heaven. “In order to get in to heaven you must each produce something that represents Christmas and the holiday season.” The first man digs deep into his pockets and pulls out a match. He lights it. “This is to repres..

Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. All my love, Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery. 사랑하는 존에게 내가 우리들의 약혼을 깨뜨린 이후 나는 잠을 잘 수 없었어. 용서하고 잊어주면 안 될까? 네가 없으니까 내 가슴 찢어지는 거 같아. 내가 바보였어, 네 자리를 대신해줄 사람은 아무도 없어. 진심으로 사..

On their 25th wedding anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner. Their teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for them when they returned. After the couple got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do some..

My husband and I both work, so our family eats out a lot. Recently, when we were having a rare home-cooked meal, I handed a glass to my three-year-old and told her to drink her milk. She looked at me bewildered and replied, "But I didn’t order milk." 나의 남편과 나는 둘 다 직장에 나간다, 그래서 우리 가족은 외식을 많이 한다. 최근, 우리는 모처럼 집에서 요리한 식사를 하고 있었는데, 그때 나는 나의 3살짜리 딸에게 잔을 건네면서 우유를 마시라고 하였다. 딸은 어리둥절한 표정으로 나를 바라보고 대답하였다, ..

Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. He asks her what it is. She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling. H..

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1998. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible..

A man, named Roy, asked his doctor if there was a test to help him determine if he was gay. The Doctor said, "Yes, there is. Please pull down your pants." Roy pulled down his pants, the doctor grabbed his testicles and told him to say 55. The man said, "55." The doctor then grabbed the man's penis and told him to say 55. Roy said, "55." The doctor then told the man to turn around, and putting a ..