아메리칸 조크

A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!" 어떤 의사가 처방전을 작성할 펜을 꺼내려고 가운 주머니에 손을 넣었다, 그러고는 직장 체온계를 꺼냈다. "오, 이런," 하고 그가 소리쳤다, "내 펜은 누군가의 항문 속에 있겠군!" [참고] * smock ☞ 겉옷, (옷이 더러워지지 않도록 위에 걸치는) 작업복

Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on a man's peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, he was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped. One warm April day, the man was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give his dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor watched the..

A man got a phone call from his wife at work one day and she asked him to stop at the store and pick up some groceries. Reminding her that this was his golf league night he said he would be happy to go to the store after playing his round of golf. After playing golf, he stopped at the store and picked up 2 bags full of groceries. He then proceeded to walk out of the grocery store to his Rolls Ro..

A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer says, "No problem, leave it all to me." The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too! 한 남자가 자기 변호사에게 가서 말했다, "제가 유언장을 만들고 싶습니다만 저는 정확히 어떻게 해야 할지 모르겠습니다. 변호사가 말했다, "문제없습니다, 모든 걸 저에게 맡기세..

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter ..

Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he suddenly said to his wife, "Ok honey, this is a drill. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore." She was initially surprised an..

At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshippers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister. As one shook the minister’s hand, he said, “Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, I bet you’re smarter than Einstein.” Beaming with pride, the minister said, “Why, thank you, brother!” As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man’s compliment. The more he thought, the more h..

While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. " I'll put down newspapers." "That's all right, lady," he responded."I'm a..

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well un..

A five year old boy comes to visit his grandparents and notices his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from the waist down. "Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out and everybody can see!" he exclaimed. Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering. "Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again. Grandpa looked at hi..